you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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