She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
