i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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