The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
