I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
