okay pat passed out under dana's car
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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