I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You took a bar mat shot.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have aggressive nipples.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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