their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
