Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize