In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize