party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
love makes seman taste better
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
