1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just donβt understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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