And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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