When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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