Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
