I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
