I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My vagina is officially offended.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
