im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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