Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
