You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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