She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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