I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize