The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
