I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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