his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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