The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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