Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
