i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He did a backflip because drugs
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