We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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