dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
