we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
