I think I died a long time ago.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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