Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
