When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
