I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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