so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
