god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We have started to decorate penises.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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