I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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