i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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