Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
