I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
