So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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