angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
