he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
