Non-Jews are for practice
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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