Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
