6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
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