Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
