It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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