yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I didn't shave. On purpose
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
