Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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