So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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