I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
