Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
