my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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