Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
