I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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