omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
